When I Grow Up…
Did you know in her nearly 65 years on this planet Barbie has had over 200 different careers to date? Did you also know that for girls like me that may have fucked up our expectations in life? Growing up I thought we had the time to be whatever we wanted to be and that there was no limit to the amount of careers we could pursue. I truly believed that I could achieve it all regardless of gender, background or location. Was I naïve or the ultimate optimist, I’ll let you decide!
My first dream was to be a vet and I am pretty sure that came after caring for my toy animals with vet Barbie. Then I wanted to work at SeaWorld and be a dolphin trainer after a Florida Barbie purchase but that dream died when I realised I hated diving and after seeing Blackfish, I am very glad I din’t pursue that one! Pregnant Barbie, where by you removed her belly, well that scared the hell out of me and may be one of the reasons motherhood has been on the back burner for some time.
But anyway, my point is that I thought I could be all of these things and more, I remember watching Ally McBeal with my mum and thinking I am going to be a great lawyer as well. Nobody told me that life was more of a singular choice and that you can’t be an Air Stewardess at day and Neurosurgeon at night.
You might be wondering why am I confessing to you all dear readers, that I have never really understood the realities of life and the restrictions put upon us. Why I never opted into this idea that we go from children to studying, to choosing a career and then spending your adult life in said career only to retire and then “enjoy the spoils” of your hard work. NO, just no that is not the life I have ever saw myself living and I know I would hate it. I often struggle when friends talk about being unhappy in their job because my instinct is to say “leave then, life is too short!”. I have worked in jobs I hated in order to pay the bills but the price you pay for that mentally, well it is just not worth it long term.
And although we may not have the life span to be a vet, a doctor, a lawyer, an air steward and a dolphin trainer all in one go - we do have the opportunity to try more and do more. I know we cannot have it all but we can have a life full of achievements and experiences. So far in my life I have spent a decade working in hospitality, I then moved onto further education and got myself a degree and from there moved into support work. That shift is how Trash Panda CIC was born, realising I could provide support better without the limitations of funding.
Now let’s be clear here though, I know some dreams are going to be out of reach and that I’ll never be following in astronaut Barbie’s heels as she set off into space (yes, she wore heels as an astronaut!). Some of my dreams have already passed me by - I am too old now to be a Disney Princess in Disney World but in saying that, I am perfect evil step mother age! And I have accepted that I am probably quite unique in that most people do not have a life accomplishment “to do” list quite as long as mine. Everyone has ambition but I guess only a few of us have to weigh up the either or scenarios when we simply want to achieve too much.
I was once given the title of a ‘life fidget’ and I guess only now can I make the connection as to why. It wasn’t that I couldn’t settle down and be happy in one job or one direction in life, it was because I knew there was too much I still wanted to do and try. I always felt like I had to keep moving. I was made to feel ashamed that I would only stay in a job for a year or two by friends and family because they were “in it for the long haul” types. They don’t see the world the way I do.
Thankfully now that I am a little older and somewhat wiser, this mentality I have and how I plan on living life, is something I embrace. We are passed the somewhat chaotic Barbie era and I no longer change my focus on a near daily basis. But as I have built my business, the ability to strive for new adventures and see where this journey takes us has been our saving grace. If I was to go back to our initial vision for the business and rigidly stick to that format we would have folded in year one.
And today marks the day I fully embrace my CEO Barbie era as I take my first steps into working full time in Trash Panda and giving the business my time and the attention it has needed for so long! I will adapt as we grow and I know in a few years time my role in the business will likely be wildly different from today but I cannot wait to achieve it all. And hey maybe I’ll get to achieve my dreams while driving my pink convertible, hanging with friends by the pool and living it up in my dream house 😉
